Me and my Ibl

The first time I ever heard the term ‘pelvic floor’ was just shortly after I had my first child. And it was said to me like I should just know what it meant. It was like a routine question “Are you doing your pelvic floor exercises?” and I said yes cause it sounded like it was something I should be doing (along with the myriad of other things I ‘should’ be doing after having my first baby). It appeared to be another tick box in my postnatal checkup and I was pretty desperate to get all the answers ‘right’ to prove to everyone (myself) that I was cut out for this motherhood gig.

I thought I better figure this thing out cause it sounds like something I should have known about all along and I’m going to have to catch up. So I asked another new mother in my circle about it..the answer I got was something like this “Yeah I’ve heard of it, apparently, you got to do these exercises after giving birth so that you don’t end up peeing yourself all the time and I heard that what you do is stop yourself mid flow when you're on the toilet to make those muscles stronger”. I said OK. What I was thinking was “are you kidding me?”. That sounded seriously less than scientific to me and I was going to put it into the box I had put a whole lot of other motherhood rubbish advice into (that box is starting to get rather full tbh but that’s a whole other blog on an entirely different website), when I thought I actually better get to the bottom of this thing cause where there is smoke there is usually fire.

So I did a little research and I got brave and asked the midwife next time she was around about my pelvic floor. She was very helpful and told me about the exercises I could do to strengthen my pelvic floor (it turns out, surprise surprise, that stopping yourself midflow regularly in an attempt to strengthen your pelvic floor is not a good idea and it could damage your bladder). So now I knew, from a reliable source, what to do. But. That region of my body was so swollen and sore that I couldn’t work out the front from back let alone isolate my pelvic floor muscles and then ‘exercise’ them! As my body healed I was able ‘have a go’ at these pelvic floor exercises. I say ‘have a go’ because while I was doing something I had no idea if that something was the correct technique. It wasn’t something that was really spoken about - it felt like one of those things you are just supposed to know because you are a woman (that’s a crock of shit says wise me 16 years on).

Fast forward a couple of years to baby number two. I thought: Yep I got this. Yep, in control of my pelvic floor. Doing my ‘exercises’ while pregnant and then after birth. Box ticked. Gold star for me.

But the toll that two pregnancies, vaginal births and life had on my body was pretty evident. While I did my ‘pelvic floor exercises’ and there was some strengthening going on, they probably weren’t as effective as they could have been given I was really just ‘having a go’. So, hello LBL. And then we said hello to baby number three (at 40!). So I wasn’t going to be saying goodbye to LBL anytime soon. Sigh.

My LBL isn’t dramatic, it’s not massive volumes, it’s not even daily. But it does take me by surprise sometimes and it’s enough to be super inconvenient. And when I truly thought about it, I identified that the real issue for me went beyond inconvenience, the deeper issue was that it stopped me doing things and it stopped me being present because I was distracted by the ‘what if’ thought, the ‘where is the nearest toilet’ thought, the ‘where can I get a change of clothes if I need to’ thought.

And I had an even bigger realisation that I was not alone, in fact, I was pretty typical. Typical in my knowledge (or lack there of) of pevlic floor health. Typical in my postnatal recovery. Typical in my LBL symptoms. Typical in my distraction.

When my niece Brooke told me of her own experience with LBL, we started to do a bit of research together and ACTIVV was born. The aha moment was not the realisation that we could solve the problem of inconvenience (although that’s pretty good!) it was the realisation that ACTIVV could empower women to be the best version of themselves - less distracted, more present, more active.

And I embarked on a new relationship with my pelvic floor. I sought expert advice and have been able to address my own pelvic floor health, the right way. It’s improving but it’s not gone yet. I wear ACTIVV, everyday, for backup, for confidence. The ‘what if’ distractions are gone so I’m free to focus on the things I want to achieve, the woman I want to be. All that from underwear? A big, massive, YES.

Mothers have an inside joke when it comes to trampolines. Usually, I only have to mention the word trampoline and I get a knowing look or a giggle. I actually stopped going on the trampoline with my kids. I missed out on lots of fun, enjoyable moments.

I say, it’s time to get back on that trampoline. Heck, buy an annual family pass at your local trampoline park!

❤️

Kim

PS Yep that’s me in my underwear. ACTIVV has taken me from being a woman that wouldn’t wear a bikini at the beach to a woman that does a photoshoot in her underwear.